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Everyone needs a friend. That friend could be you. Why is Chloe still so quiet?
That friend could be you.
Why is Chloe still so quiet? We Have a Hard Time Asking For What We Want Asking for what we want — be it a job promotion, a date, or a slice of pizza from a restaurant whose sole purpose is to sell people slices of pizza — often seems like more trouble than its worth also, insanely terrifying. Pray about how to best get to know them and help them feel of your sincere interest in becoming friends. Never mind that there is very little laughing into faces going on in the real world, or actually anywhere outside of telenovelas, really.
If you said "no" to all of the above, and then loudly and confidently announced, "Who does this kind of stuff? We've crunched the s, and have a hard time believing that the reward will be worth the risk.
Now you look over and see Chloe. Befriend them because you genuinely want to get to know them and be their friend, not just because they might be why alone. Be interested. What if you ask and then the person you asked laughs in your face?
But around our real, close friends, you can't get us to shut up you know, just like anyone else. That would be lunacy! So ask them what things they like and then try to find a shared interest. And we might as well note here that there is no better way to make sure that a shy person never feels comfortable enough to talk around you, than to assume that they're snobby. We see everyone, even when everyone doesn't see us, and we've become keen observers of the human condition as a result.
Just keep looking for casual ways to talk to them. We're Not Pushovers, Either Ah, the other perennial shy person stereotype favorite — if you're not quiet and restrained because you're snotty, you must be quiet and restrained because you're a big wimp who will let everyone walk all over her. Big mistake. But remember to always respect their boundaries. She smiles nervously and looks away.
If you're not sure, here's an easy test to help you figure it out: have you ever: a had to spend between 45 minutes and four days psyching yourself up just to be able to call up your dentist's office to make an appointment? If you mumbled "yes" to any of the above questions while not making eye contact, congratulations: you are a shy person, doomed to live in a Tihngs person's world.
Because if you don't, we're probably just going to spend the next two years staring at you, but then looking away when you look at us, and what kind of story is that to tell our kids? I mean, at least at a middle school dance, you got to listen to the Spice Girls.
We have hobbies, obsessions, best friends, in-jokes, and weird sexual things that we're into. But being shy isn't always a disadvantage. sure you can't hear your music loudly outside your headphones.
You pull out the rest of your lunch and notice the book Chloe has next to her. This, of course, is also not true — shy people come in all flavors, from "total doormat" to "quietly plotting evil genius who will destroy your life in ways you won't even discover until it is far too late.
Why do we also have to go to some weird place filled with strangers, then stand around awkwardly holding a drink, waiting to be chosen for an inane conversation like it's some even more terrible version of a middle school dance? We're Not Stuck-Up Though many extremely social folks have a hard time imagining any reason why someone would be quiet, and thus jump to strange, whimsical conclusions about it — like that you must be silently staring at the floor because you think you're better than them — this is usually quite far from the truth.
Make sure to respect their preferences.
Sometimes it takes a little while for shy people to feel comfortable enough to open up. So, basically, we're just like anyone else — we're just not shouting about it at happy hour. Everyone needs a friend. Best to just assume that shy folks should be treated like everyone else. We are secure in the friendships we do have, and know that all our friends have our backs whenever trouble comes our way. But if you ask us "so, do you talk? We don't go around saying things off the top of our he that we later have to take back.
And I mean, if doing that makes you personally happy, go for it — but don't assume that peopple people don't have personalities outside of their difficulties with small talk. By Gabrielle Moss Fo. Why isn't Thingz enough? We Probably Thought About Talking To You For A Long Time Before Actually Talking To You There are so many ways that conversation with a stranger could go wrong — saying something accidentally offensive; getting caught off-guard and looking dumb; unintentionally getting trapped in the middle of a monkey knife fight — that we spend a lot of time planning out how we're going to talk to a new person, developing several possible thre of conversation just in case one goes wrong and practicing our emergency protective anti-monkey knife fight crouch But before you go, there are a few things that we, the Shy People of the World, would like you know about us.
But we have to tell you about it on the internet, because we're not going to, like, say it to your face in public or poeple.
I mean, it has to happen eventually, right? You make eye contact, and you smile at her across the room.
We Have Distinct Personalities Some people think that if you don't talk much in public, the sum total of your entire personality is "I don't talk much in public;" and that when you go home, you eat a heaping bowl of plain yogurt, then stare at a blank TV until it is time for bed. Next time, maybe bring a friend.
Here are a few things to keep in mind while trying to befriend people like Chloe who seem shy. Pick a seat at either the front or back of the classroom. Be personable. Constantly look behind you when walking at night.
So, really, trust us, we're fine. We don't waste our time getting caught up in silly social drama or competitions that eat up our peple and mental energy. Be sincere.
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